Have you ever wondered what separates people in all they think and do? The answer is complicatedly simple. First, let’s start with some facts. The only thing that separates one human being from another is information. This is far beyond what books they read or what they learn in school. This is more about the invisible information coded into one’s being from conception to the present. All information exists and is available to all beings but we all have varying combinations of information that creates a different experience of reality for each and every one of us. You see this played out in all areas of our lives. There seems to be a hierarchy or a pyramid for everything where there are far too many people at the bottom and far too few at the top. Once again, when I say information, I am not talking about any type of formal education. I am talking about the information we identify with and use to excuse or justify our limitations and results in life. I am talking about all the invisible information that is being used to decide and do things we don’t want to do and not do all the things we wish to do.

Every human being is born with the same two fears, falling from high places and loud noises. These two fears are hardwired into our brains while all others are simply illusions. Yes, it is true that fears and emotions can be inherited through family history, but I will save the deep dive on this for another day. My point here will be that no matter what you believe is necessary to fear, it’s all a mental projection because the thing you are fearing is never actually happening in the present moment. I will help a little bit with what I just said. If you have a fear of heights, it’s because you fear falling even though you’re not yet falling. If you found yourself falling you would no longer fear falling because while falling your fear is projected forward to not wanting to hit the ground. Before hitting the ground you have stopped fearing the fall and hitting the ground because now you fear being maimed or dying.

It doesn’t matter if everyone in your family has been bitten by snakes and you inherit their fear of snakes or you live below your potential because that’s what all your family members have done too. If you make all your decisions from the information of poverty or from the fear of snakes, all your decisions will be to avoid all projected and perceived risks ranging from nature walks, creating wealth, and experiencing true love.

The labels we choose and the reasons we use…do not excuse our results in life. Think about the last time you felt insecure, anxious, or fearful. What did you allow those feelings to decide on your behalf in the name of avoidance or “survival?” How many times in your life have you been fired up with an idea (information) of YES! I am inspired and motivated to make a move only to find yourself paralyzed by another idea of (information) HELL NO?!

This YES! To be and do more is to show alignment between our self-conscious and our superconscious. The HELL NO! is only a pattern from old programs in the unconscious that only cares about one thing, your survival and staying the same. We are not meant to live small and limited and we are also not meant to pretend that everything is life-threatening. If you were to ask the majority of people in the World, most of them would all agree that one of their top fears is the fear of public speaking. WTF? Let’s lay out some basic truths here. Public speaking is not hazardous to anyone’s health except for those who get so nervous and stressed out, they only inject a continuous supply of the fear and anxiety that fuels their self-fulfilling delusion. People don’t actually die from embarrassment, and we are being untruthful when we say things like – I fear public speaking. We speak publicly to people every day and we also decide what people we will feel uncomfortable or insecure around. Let’s say that you want to be a speaker to inspire others or maybe your boss says it’s your path to the big office. One moment you are excited about your future and then the next you can barely breathe and the only things you see are images of your disaster. This excitement that turns into fear or debilitating anxiety is not because you are not good enough or an actual fear of public speaking (remember, you’re not even on stage). In this state of panic, the only thing you can think about is how to escape the feeling that you blame on this perceived future experience. Now that the old primitive brain has been activated and you are deep in fight, flight, freeze, or flop mode…all decisions for your life are coming purely from protection and avoidance. Yes, the feelings are powerful, the threat seems real, and all your thoughts are telling you to run like hell, but what is it you are truly running from? How many of these HELL NO’s! do you have in your life? How many must avoid at all costs fears that prevent you from doing, being, and experiencing more? See…if your underlying fear is needing to avoid rejection, judgment, or unfavorable opinions from others, then your fear is not public speaking, it is people that you can’t control the opinions of. If you fear people then you won’t allow yourself to take any risks and you also forfeit all potential rewards. Is it really worth the risk of sacrificing all potential for the reward of avoiding someone’s opinion of you? Look, no matter how flawed you think you are someone thinks you are awesome, and no matter how awesome you think you are, someone wishes their opinion of you would make you feel flawed.

We must not confuse our thoughts and feelings for facts. All feelings are recorded memories from the past and when we make our decisions based on our feelings (everyone does) then we are not actually making decisions about what is real and true in the moment. Another way to look at this is by how we measure confidence. We all have the same amount of confidence (information) but we distribute it differently. Yes, a confident person seems to make things look easy and effortless while an insecure person tends to struggle to make significant progress. Is it the difference in confidence or is it in the focus?  Just like a rich person doesn’t focus any energy on I am rich affirmations, a confident person doesn’t spend their time trying to measure if they have enough confidence to do what they want to do. Confident people move without resistance and the by-product is more confidence. Insecure people wait to feel confident before doing what they want to do only to reinforce their feeling of a lack of confidence. Confident people know they have what they need and can freely go after what they want. Fearful and insecure people feel they need something before they can achieve or be allowed to have what they want. If you wholeheartedly believe in the story you tell yourself about your past, your potential, or your capabilities that limit your success in Health, Wealth, and Happiness… you are failing to see that you are using 100% of your faith and confidence to believe in an illusion created by your unconscious self-image that sabotages your potential.

No time here for fault or blame. All of us are victims of our environment during our most important and formative years. There is a reason for all our reluctance to play big as adults and it’s not for all the reasons most people believe. Despite being born with a part of our brain that literally sees the world as an unsafe and uncertain environment, this isn’t the problem. The problems start to program themselves into our newly developing brains starting in infancy. Here we will pretend that all things parents do are well intended and that they only want their children to grow into successful and happy beings. Sounds so logical and pure, right? If you’re a parent, be honest and ask yourself if you have this wish for your child. Now, ask yourself how terrified you are that they may experience failure, fall short of their potential, or fail to meet your expectations. The problem is not with the wish but in its energy that will activate and reinforce a fear focus. Parents would die for their kids and the insane amount of love they have for them naturally motivates them to protect them at all costs. A parent’s bleeding heart combined with pure and loving intentions can easily turn into ownership before partnership. Over-involvement in trying to control how our children will experience their lives and learn their values only creates fences around their potential and retards their growth and development. Being rescued all the time is the opposite of developing resilience. Resilience is a skill that is developed in the act of being bigger than the obstacle.

Remember: we are all born with the same two fears and the fear of experiencing new things, taking risks, and challenging ourselves is not one of them. Our feelings are designed to make us take action and fear is a high-voltage signal to react, respond, plan, or prepare for success and only success. These limitations are all programmed into us by our well-meaning parents who have no idea that they are creating the exact opposite of their intention. It all starts with the… don’t touch, be careful, dogs bite, watch out, don’t fall, that will hurt, get down, stop that, and anything else that is designed for them to avoid anything you deem to be bad for them. I understand that all parents think this is how their kids need to learn to be safe but all it does is a program in a caution light that was not originally there. Now as our children grow they will make most of their decisions from the identity they have assumed because of all of the messages about their limitations because of this annoying flashing light they can’t seem to turn off. When parents parent from a place of protection they prevent their kids from developing resilience, confidence, courage, and decisions making skills. I am not promoting being irresponsible here in any way shape or form but there is a reason why every adolescent and adult has the life experience they do. The programming and mindset of a person’s self-image are responsible for every decision that is made and the results that are created. One of my favorite quotes is…

Kids Aren’t Born Thinking They Suck Their Parents Instill It – Gary Vee

I include this because as adults it’s not our opportunities or potential that is limited, it is the constant unconscious reminders from our flashing caution light that limits our vision and distorts what we see. When you are looking at one thing you are simultaneously not seeing millions of other things that could be far more important, powerful, effective, and beneficial.

Before closing let’s briefly cover the idea of risk and reward. It doesn’t matter if you are the type who is afraid to climb past the second rung of a ladder or if you love that rush you feel in your gut when leaning over the rails at Niagara falls…we all feel the same thing but the labels we use and the images in our minds create entirely different personal experiences of the same chemical cocktail that gets shot into our system. While one person’s threshold may be below the third rung of a ladder, they let the fear keep them in place so they can avoid feeling the fear. While another person loves the thrill of hanging over the edge and accepting the feelings they have as part of the experience they are giving to themselves. The person who is avoiding all experiences that will trigger the feeling(s) that they resist only prevents them from experiencing life. They will also look up at the person hanging over the edge and judge them for having a death wish when in reality the two are completely reversed. The person who believes it necessary to play it safe to preserve life is not allowing themselves to actually feel alive.

I am not advocating that all people need to put on a wingsuit and head for the Swiss alps. But the very same people who do this kind of stuff for fun are very calculated and focused on their success so they can fully experience exhilaration and love for the life they live.

None of these people have a death wish. In fact, their wish is to push the boundaries of possibility and experience Living to its fullest expression. This freaks the f#ck out of people who live in fear. Without risk, there can be no reward. A life spent trying to protect a life of not dying is no life at all. Risk is a relative term and the more knowledge or experience you have in any area, the more potential risks are minimized. When I say no risk no reward, I do not mean acting a fool and jumping into sh!t you know nothing about. Taking a risk means accepting that there are potential consequences for everything we choose to do or not to do. Choose what you want, prepare for success, and take the necessary action steps with courage and confidence.

 

Love, Support, and Gratitude!

Jesse Van