We love having reasons for our results or lack thereof especially if we have a person or circumstance to blame because it deflects all pressure off us to man or woman up. How one thinks and feels about someone or something will be the experience of said thing because one can only have an experience after becoming aware that they are experiencing it. Anytime we identify with our assumptions or experiences we are reinforcing the self-image that is making our decisions and adding the meaning that creates the experience. We tend to label all undesirable results and emotions as negative and then set out on a crusade to solve, dissolve, and resolve all things we resist and want to avoid. Without fail, our positive intentions will blind us with reasons for our decisions to excuse our responsibility for our results. Making decisions from within this mindset of escape or avoidance will only bring more life and energy to the thing you’re trying to avoid or resolve. For all things of desire to exist then by Universal Law, the polar opposite, and all things in-between must also exist. Nothing has ever been gained from wasting energy and time in shame, guilt, unforgiveness, fault, or blame. Nothing was what you say it is until you say it is because of what you said it was.

Let’s say you are in commission sales and your income is all dependent on how many clients you pitch and how many of those find enough value in your product or service to pay for it. You have been doing it for years, and you have always made enough to live a decent life. But it seems that for every great month, you have an even more mediocre month the next. This oscillation has you blaming everything from interest rates to the economy, the customers, and the leads. You may even think that it is some special training you lack, and someone can teach you a magical word track or mind trick that will make everyone say yes to you, your product, or your service. You have tried and applied all of the tactics, you have done the hustle and grind and hustled some more. The difference in your experience from month to month is your focus and being oblivious to the fact that everything you are thinking, feeling, believing, and doing reflects in your commission at the end of the month.

So, one day while on vacation in Mexico you are slapped in the face with a huge dose of Holy Shit, I get it! The problem wasn’t with you, it was with the you that you believed you were that was making all the shitty decisions that kept creating the same ol’ same ol’ inconsistencies in your success. After several days of frying in the sun and as many nights trying to party like a rock star, you are sitting down on your final night and having dinner with some friends at a beautiful restaurant along the beach. You get approached for what now seems to be the tenth f#ck’n thousandth time that someone tries to offer you a song, dress, braids, or trinket. It has annoyed you all week, so you feel justified in rudely saying no, and begin complaining to everyone at the table about how much you hate being pestered by these people to buy their goods or service. You…totally expecting to get confirmation from the others because it’s happening to them too, and they must share your thoughts and feelings, right?

From across the table comes some wisdom that will change everything because the person talking is not seeing the experience through his emotions. Hearing these words in a deep and calm voice, you know what I love about Mexican culture? No, what? They have no shame in their game. What is that supposed to mean? I mean, think about how many people say no to them every day and yet they smile, say gracias, and move on to the next person without getting all butt-hurt and taking things as a personal rejection. They are solely focused on their intention which is to provide for their family. For them, it doesn’t matter if it takes 100 tries and they don’t give any f#cks about being told no for the 99th time. I love their resilience. Mexicans are very proud people, but they know how to leave that shit at the door when it comes to getting things done. Like that old song that says, “there is no such thing as pride when you’re trying to make a living.” Their entire focus is only on creating their desired outcome and finishing the day with the money they seek. It’s refreshing to see especially because so many Americans are entitled, vain, and insecure. They create reasons and excuses for their results so they can protect their fragile egos because they attach their identities and feelings to everything, including other people’s opinions.

The wise man now asks: Mark, how many years have you been in sales now? 25, why do you ask? I am just wondering how much more successful you would be if you weren’t afraid of being told no because your self-image believes that you are bothering people when you’re trying to earn a living. I can imagine this getting in the way of being solely focused on providing top-notch service if you are afraid people might think you’re just another annoying and inconsiderate salesman out to ruin their night.

Being stressed about making money only makes making money stressful. Placing a higher value on being accepted only reinforces your objections to accepting yourself, and when you don’t want to be alone you find yourself accepting someone that in time you don’t want to be alone with. Placing more focus on appearances makes you focused on yourself and not your client, this is what people don’t like about being sold. Assuming to know something you don’t, only makes you wrong, not someone or something else.

Execution of any plan starts with the self-image of the man or woman making the plan (structure). Thinking of the quote “A POOR man can’t have a RICH thought” goes along with the idea that you cannot find or create a solution to solve a problem with the same level of thinking and feeling that created the problem or circumstance. Thinking and feeling resistance to rejection does not create acceptance. Just as focusing on poverty does not create abundance because your thoughts, feelings, and motivations are coming from the self-image and the predominant focus that created the poverty or fear of rejection. All life experiences and circumstances are created from the self-image of the man or woman because they are basing all their plans of action from either their fixed-poverty mindset or their growth and abundance mindset. The values fueling the focus, thoughts, and feelings are motivating all behaviors that pre-determine your results and experience.

The man or woman who makes their plan to move forward and away from, wanting to escape or avoid something, is making decisions from the self-image and the creator of the problem, not the identity that creates the desired outcome. If you won’t think bigger than your thoughts about your feelings, then you can only expect to see the same results because your actions will be driven by your current mindset and focus, not the desired outcome. If you value certainty above all else, you won’t take action. You will prevent yourself from learning and growing through exposure and experience. This need for certainty is driving your feelings and actions because you have attached your identity to the outcome which actually causes in-action. When identity is attached to an outcome the need for things to be easier, certain, and guaranteed only intensifies, while fear of failure becomes more and more debilitating.

Life by nature is uncertain. The only thing that is certain is that the outcome of any pursuit will be determined by its structure. What values, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are driving your reactions? Do they belong to the self-image that has created the current reality and keeps you being as you have been, or do they belong to the higher, fully expressed version of you that is being, doing, and creating all you want to be, do, and create? If you want to be the thing you must be willing to do the thing, because you won’t see the thing until you are being the thing! This means that if you want more, better, and different you need to have those thoughts, feel those feelings, and take actions that are in alignment with your end result ONLY.